This is drawn from the version in Edith Stauffer's book "Unconditional Love and Forgiveness"
1. "I choose to stop hurting myself for what (name of person) has done. (or, is doing)."
2. Address the person in imagination - use a chair, cushion, or coloured cloth to represent the person:
"What you did made me feel.................. I would have preferred that you had said or done .................."
3. "But you didn't do that. I don't want to hurt myself any more for what you have done. I'm tired of the discomfort I get from all this. I want to finish this now. I choose to heal this and let it go completely. I am choosing to be free of it."
4. "I would have preferred that you had.............................., but you didn't do that and I cancel that expectation." (Repeat this for all expectations held).
"I cancel all demands, expectations, and conditions that you do (or say or be) what I would have preferred in the past and now. I cancel the demand that you be any certain way. You are totally responsible for your actions. I give that responsibility back to you now (gesture), and I release you now to your own good."
5. Close your eyes and raise your consciousness to the Higher Self. Imagine the love that the Higher Self had and has for you. Feel that compassion and love from the Higher Self; allow it to flow into you and release all the demands and conditions and expectations. Really feel the positive qualities of the Higher Self, that part of you that has protected you, loved you, and nurtured you all the days of your life.
6. With eyes still closed, continue to feel the love from the Higher Self and now say to the person you are forgiving:-
"I send this love out from my Higher Self to you just as you are and have been, and I release you to your highest good."
Feel this love flowing out from you to this person. Take your time to feel and experience this.
7. Now be aware of your body and how it feels. Find out if you are still holding on to any demands that this person change in any way. If you do not feel release, repeat the process, - for each action you are holding against this person. Always examine your willingness to be free. If it feels blocked, ask within yourself: "Is something else blocking this process?" Usually an answer will come to you quickly, and you can proceed to process it. It may help to refer to the longer version for the greater detail and precision that is sometimes necessary. When you have done what you can, feel deep gratitude that you can feel love from your Higher Self and can send it out to the forgiven one. The relief will come. This exercise can be done often - for small hurts and for deep emotional trauma. It works any time we feel love is blocked. Repetition begins to make it "second nature" - a good habit, like washing dishes or cleaning teeth!
If for some reason this Basic Process does not feel adequate and bring complete relief, you may need to work through and use the longer version.
Link here to go on to Step One - Understand the definition of the forgiveness process
Link here to return to Forgiveness Programme - Contents