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Musician jokesQ: How many musicians does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to
stand around and say, "I can do that!"
Q: What do you get if
Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and
A: Bach in the saddle again.
Q: How many
bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's
Q: How many musicians does it take to change a
A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder,
and 17 to be on the guest list.
Q: How many folk musicians
does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven; one to change and
the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
don't they know where Mozart is buried?
A: Because he's
Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is
reincarnated as twins?
A: A pair of Re-bachs.
Q: What do
you call a male quartet?
A: Three men and a tenor.
Where are we?Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital
in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost
and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are
Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"
What's that sound?A tourist is sightseeing in a European
city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the
commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise,
as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper.
collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound
The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's
Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue
to meet St. Peter.
St. Peter: Hi, what's your
Paul: My name is Paul.
Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you
St. Peter: Wow!
Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of
Paul: I was a lawyer.
That's great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man.
Hi, what's your name?
Roger: My name is
St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died,
how much were you earning?
Peter: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a
Roger: I was an accountant.
Peter: That's very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to
the second man. Hi, what's your name?
John: My name is
St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much
were you earning when you died?
St. Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, John! Tell
me, what instrument did you play?
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