Author: Jason

I went searching for you   but no one knew your name
I had hoped to find you amongst friends and  fellows
and this I saw fall softly
sad at seeing how far I am
your voice comes
your sound is  a balm to me along the way
I have given everything
for I am a tale of  love and longing

                     *     *     *

To those who are spending this, their first Christmas
without their child
For those alone for the first time
without their beloved
or looking into the eyes of your love
trying to wish back tears
as you exchange gifts
knowing this will be your last winter together
Come, let us join hands
gather around this table
and send love around the circle

Come, stranger, you are not a stranger to me anymore
Come, friend
let us pass our great life giving love around this circle
love born of understanding grief
born knowing separation
we cannot reach anymore with our hands
we have to do something with the power in this heart
Come, let us heal each other
Come, join the circle
where love finds the full expression of its nature
Let us give all we have in us to give
heal ourselves and each other
touch with a sublime power
to caress all the hurt
Compassion
our new family

                     *     *     *

No one speaks
but we have deep roots in each other
old lovers  and family
the ones we were once close to
fathers and sons
brothers
husband and wife  no one speaks
and the close friends whose touch was once such a comfort
no one speaks
the time and distance are too great to cross
and so we go on with our back turned
to enter the sad voiceless movement of time passing
Mourning what we've lost
what we never had a chance to know or have known
From within their sealed expression, sorrowing
no one tells you their truth
we can't retrieve or give voice 
to what's long gone, it seems
We move farther away
our hands are empty
Suicides don't speak
broken spirits have no voice
and no sound comes from under the weight of addiction
For all that goes unsaid and undone in a lifetime
the chance is too brief for anything less than truth
But sometimes we're forced to leave
the pressure is too great
there is too much danger
and sadness gathered, pressing
too much to see at once
How can we begin?
All this leaving too soon
when we never really wanted to go

                     *     *     *

This is about a story I heard.

In the first month of 1945, 
prisoners of war were being executed.

A group of men with long beards, black coats
the Orthodox Jews
spent their last night with a bottle of wine
And through tear filled eyes they saw each other
most clearly

Through the ice, before dawn  a crush of boots
orders shouted, the coats roughly handled
The men whispered among themselves
as they were marched,’ to die without bitterness...'

In the freezing cold  in an open field
surrounded by tall trees  and a sky full of stars
The older men, the younger men
afraid, shaking, holding each other up
put their arms on each other's shoulders a last time
made a small circle and began a dance
'To life' one of them said
'L'chaim!', the others repeated,’ To life!'

a step later their captors opened fire
with a line of machine guns
there was a moment of pain, 
of sadness they'd never see their brothers
or wives or children again
and of unbearable compassion
and everything was silent
only the night was a witness
A presence was everywhere
and the soldiers stood confused for a moment

That they knew - 
to look at evil and to have no malice
to remember what is most precious  as a war outside rages
and all else is lost
to have resisted hatred to the end
to have seen the worst, the perverse
to have looked directly into its eyes  and remained human
They knew that such an action is timeless,
that love continues  and is unconquerable,
and that somehow we were all with them

They stood taller than the surrounding trees
their hands gripping each other's shoulders
their devotion was what resounded last
true to the end  no end
and in response, the cold night, the open field
became itself clear and kind as the last look they gave
Perhaps it's why the soldiers were startled
The only witness recounts this story
as those who walked away did not yet fully understand
but a testimony has been passed down, 
after all these years it remains
You can hear it!  
You can see it!
tender and strong, an amazing visage!  an appearance surviving throughout the cold night

                     *     *     *

Ignorance  a closed door, and pride  a lock
nothing more than a word can keep us from embracing
So many of the gifts we have go unopened
as we wither and perish in plain view of each other.
Voices insistant, but where is the holding of hands?
All of our relations are waiting  
for there to be peace between you and I.
                     *     *     *

Every other kind of wine puts you to sleep
this one wakes you up
every other touch leaves you sitting there, alone
this one brings you to your feet
and places you in graceful movement
looking from behind everyone else's eyes
You feel the billowing of their robes
the widening of their heart
Every other type of solitude is a fractured jar
but this one is the laughing heavens
and poverty and all the strategies of the poor
you step beyond
in an instant  the world lights up

                     *     *     *

When I was twelve I was pulled from the waves
but it was more than my father’s arms that saved me
and shaken from the blackout o.d.
it was more than the commonsense will to live
other reasons calling had their hand in there pulling
souls were waiting magnetic
with something to give
and others needing me
we are drawn with force 
by the lives ahead of us
by those we have not yet known
other worlds throw their shadow forward
small, innocent looking turns in the road
were placed there irresistible
full meaning
to lead to sudden well timed discovery
from past what is seen
there’s a strong arm pulling
they shield me and shepard
from a distance

                     *     *     *

In the past I must have been
one who worked the land
working with faith
watching the ground long before anything is seen above the surface
praying for rain and light
pressing on through hurt-weary times
each day’s hunger
working to sustain himself
working with back and arms and with
rough hands that speak to the living earth
materials of his faith

I must have been a warrior once
wading through the fallen contorted bodies of his enemies
fighting a good fight   for some honor in need of defending
unable to turn his back on that need
with no malice in his heart
sad that the struggle has to go on
with no pride
his body strengthened by that idea
living for the time when it will not be necessary
to crash through walls of threatening will
and  bring them down

and I must have been a mother many times
knowing the life within long before any outward sign
knowing their spirits  like being with another inside
feeling the growth and movement with hands over my stomach
small bones and flesh from my own body taking shape, forming
I carried hope as well for my children
was sharp and protective over them from inception
my will was strongest in bringing them to term
I lived for my children
I lived to give them life

                     *     *     *

What gods do you hold?
To what do you bow and spend yourself praying?
To what do you dedicate yourself,
and what holds your devotion?
What is the face on the statue
whose foot you kiss with such reverence
and before which you humble yourself?
What is the shape of the altar
where your sacrifice is made everyday?
What is the form or your practice?
and what is the drawing spirit?

                     *     *     *

Bankers  run out into the street
and fling handfuls of dollars
shouting, ‘There’s more where that came from!’
Merchants  kick open the doors to their stores,
arms holding as much as they can carry,
and push what they have through the open windows
of passing cars
People are wandering around with 
pieces of delicious cake in their hands, saying, 
‘Here, take a bite…’

What’s going on here?
Just for today (or is it?)
nobody’s trying to turn a profit- 
no one’s trying to sell anything
The whole city stayed awake all night
trying to figure out ways to help others

Cabbies and bus drivers won’t accept fares
food is served  -  no bills are due
No checks accepted  -  no credit cards
Everyone’s giving away what they have!
Has the whole world gone sane?!

All the ad-men have found another line of work
and today, all the sponsors will say is, 
‘Come on down!  Free gifts!
 No strings attached!…’

It’s a wonder  -  Ha!
Everybody’s getting rich
You can see it on their faces
and people are saying, 
‘Why didn’t we think of this before?!…’

                     *     *     *

Omens are Gifts From the Gods

On my way home
I found myself surrounded
by flashing lights and sirens shouting
I tried to get out of the way
only to make matters worse
and block movement of the ones I would yield to
I was directed to turn and wait
and when I asked what the trouble was
the great prophet lifted his arms to the sky
and with trembling voice intoned
"When you see flashing lights
and hear sirens wail- What are you to do?!"
I was awestruck by the sheer power
that flooded through and almost lifted this
messenger of the heaven world
from the very ground on where he stood
and not waiting any reply
he roared, impassioned "You pull over to the side and stop!"
Oh, Salaam, I nodded, palms joined, eyes lowered
The very breath of my oracles deity 
made the man's nostrils flare
and I looked expecting to see 
flowing robes and great gray beard
but all I saw was blue
He added, "You're going to have to become more sharp!"

I wonder if he knew
or was like those messengers of old
who in their ecstatic trance
were all unaware of the gift that was spoken

                     *     *     *

Today we celebrate the Dalai Lama
Today we celebrate Thay Nhat Hahn
Rejoice in our kind mothers and kind fathers
Today we celebrate the existence of friendship throughout the world

Today we share our gratitude for all the caring 
and compassion that people show to each other
and all the learning, the tenderness, the mercy
Today we celebrate the truth of healing
and are thankful for our happiness and all the causes 
of health and happiness

Today we celebrate the fact of beauty, simple, deep, 
inspiring
With all our loved ones we join hands
Today we celebrate love
Today we celebrate the yearning of humanity
its cry of freedom, and promise, and faith
Today we celebrate laughter, and just this- seeing each other, being here together

Today we celebrate our children, an endless joy
Today we celebrate our diversity, richness, intimation 
of potential

Today we join and break bread and tell stories around 
this table
Today we celebrate life and livingness
Today we celebrate our accomplishments, and the leaving a written record of the way we have traveled
Today we celebrate our ancestors, translators, teachers
Today we celebrate the wisdom of our elders

and we bow and kiss the earth, touch the bark of a tree
look wonderingly over a valley rain
Today we celebrate a fresh birth, and renewal

                     *     *     *