Stay Pure December 2001

by: Elisabeth A. Freeman

This and all other stories are Copyrighted by A Time 2 Heal Ministries
Copyright © 2001

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A Monthly E-Zine For Those Recovering From Addictive Behaviors


December 2001

"Is Christ King In Your Life?"

Merry Christmas!


Psalm 119:9 "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word."



Feature Article: "Is Christ King?" by Elisabeth Freeman

Couples Forum: "Giving The Perfect Gift" by Elisabeth Freeman

"Denial & Delusion" by Paul Cook @

Singles Column: "Getting Personal" by Dominique founder of Single Victory

A Poem: "My Phantom Love" by Dominique

"Pornography & The Church" by Wesley King

"Spiritual Classics" Forwarded by Lannie Self, Restoration Fellowship, Featuring G.D. Watson

Jokes From… Laughter is the best medicine… A merry heart doeth good like a medicine! Prov. 17:22



Is Christ King?

by Elisabeth A. Freeman


Coming into the Christmas season many of us were brought up to believe in Santa Claus and tell our parents about all the presents we wanted. Just like every other kid in America, that was my favorite holiday. My heart pounded with excitement wondering what I would get that Christmas morning.

I could picture the lights, blinking on the tree, the glistening tinsel, and the brightly wrapped presents encompassing our entire living room. I’d shake each box and guess what it could be, while my brother tore into his presents without a single thought.

But now, as a Christian, I realize that the best Christmas happened hundreds of years before I was even born. No one could give us such a wonderful present as was delivered that day. The Savior of the world was born. He spread his peace and joy abroad and brought hope to a hopeless and dying world. The shepherds were touched, the kings were shaken, and earth was changed.

The King of Kings was born to us. God gave the ultimate—his Son. So really, Christmas isn’t about all that we can get; but rather what we can GIVE.

We can give money to those less fortunate. We can give our time to someone who’s lonely or in need. We can give the homeless a warm place to sleep. We can give a cold cup of water to someone on a hot day. We can give an extra coat to someone who has none. We can give food to those whose cupboards are bare.

The truth is, we can give everything we have to the poor, but if Jesus Isn’t King of our lives, then it’s all done in vain. Jesus is love. And the Bible tells us that if we do everything, but have not love, we are NOTHING.

So, instead of getting all wrapped up in the season, look up above to the REASON—Jesus. If he isn’t King of your life, won’t you make him your King today?



Couples Forum:

"Giving The Perfect Gift"


John and I swapped papers. "I’d like one of these," John said, pointing out a tool set. Although he had enough tools to fill the bottom of the ocean.

I nodded, not wanting to make a big deal about it.

"This is kind of nice," I said showing him a leather jacket. But of course, I had enough outerwear to cover an entire continent.

We had already decided upon what to get the kids. The newest, hottest games, and the most advertised gadget on the market, of course. Although, honestly they had so many toys that we could hardly get in their rooms.

So, what is the perfect gift? Is there a such thing? I put the paper down and stared at John. He set his ad aside too.

"What?" he asked. "I see your wheels turning."

"Why do we spend all this time looking at ads, hurry to stores, bustling through crowds for what we think is the perfect gift?"

We both chuckled. Of course our memories of past Christmas’ flooded our minds. We had bought the kids enough presents to fill two rooms, and yet, nothing was PERFECT about it! We spent hours upon hours trying to put their toys together, make games work, and find the right batteries. Sometimes the toys were even broken. Between crying kids, mounds of gift-wrap covering the floor, and the timer going off on the Big Christmas Dinner—our Christmas Day was the most stressful day of the year.

There is only one perfect thing on this whole earth and that is Jesus Christ. You are never going to buy somebody something that they will always appreciate. You might get them something they’ll like for awhile, but they will always Want something else.

That’s why John and I have decided to get the kids a very minimal Christmas, focus on what’s really important, and take time out to be TOGETHER, in each other’s arms… because no gift can ever replace the gift of love. LOVE IS THE PERFECT PRESENT. Give the gift of Love. Read about Love in I. Corinthians 13.


Marriage Joke

by Gary Smalley

After reading a marriage book, a retired accountant and his wife realized the importance
of having friends as support. After finishing some work around the house, the wife decided to call another couple to see what they were doing. "Not much," said the other wife, "we're just drinking tea and talking."

The accountant's wife hung up the phone. "Why don't we do that?" she demanded. "They're just drinking tea and talking."

"So," said the accountant, "fix us a pot of tea." Soon they sat with their freshly brewed tea, staring at each other. "Call them back," he directed, "and find out what they're talking about."


Religion Today Feature Story dated 11/30/01 which was about Aids in Africa, used this as their opening statement:

"In Africa, where sexual matters are mostly discussed in hushed tones, if ever at all, the sheer devastation of HIV/AIDS is bringing us all to the realization that silence is perhaps our biggest enemy in this enormous challenge in our history."

That’s the purpose in writing my book "Coming Out Of Sexual Addiction," so the silence could be broken and those who were trapped in sexual addiction could come out—freely and openly. There are many good books on the market to help those wounded by this destructive demon. A good author to look up on the subject is Dr. Douglass Weiss. He’s written a whole library on the subject, and while I was writing "Coming Out" I had the opportunity to read a few. I’m not saying my book is the only one, what I am saying is YOU CAN’T DO THIS ALONE. Get some help—BREAK THE SILENCE.


Denial and Delusion

By Paul Cook

In our Internet ministry, we frequently hear from sex addicts who become deluded by pornography. The root of this deception comes from the sin of idolatry. The Bible specifically identifies idolatry as sin (Exodus 20:3-5, Exodus 20:23).  God's primary command is that we love him with all our heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:36-38).  Obeying this command leaves no room for idolizing sex in those areas.

Idolatry creates a condition where our own heart misleads us. Isaiah wrote about the idolater, "He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say, `Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?’" (Isaiah 44:20 NIV). When our heart deceives us, we can no longer distinguish truth from lies, nor save ourselves from the destruction caused by our sin.

Pornography idolizes sex and lures many into worshipping it with their time and resources.   It promotes many lies through its depictions. If we fill our eyes and mind with it, we start to believe its lies. The more pornography we view, the more deceived we become. We start to see nothing wrong with blatant sex sin, and can be easily snagged by perversions like homosexuality, incest, adultery and fornication.

Proverbs 30:20 describes a sex addict’s denial: "This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, `I've done nothing wrong’"(NIV). Pornography leads millions of people to adopt the same mindset of denial. It leads them to become mental adulterers with the images, while denying it is sin. It doesn’t take long for those people to start believing lies like:

"I’m not harming anyone"

"It’s better to look at porn than to actually commit the sin with someone"

"God made me with sexual urges and this is just a healthy way to release the energy"

"I can control the urges"

"This won’t affect my ability to share God’s love with others"

"I’m an adult and can look at whatever I want"

"They’re just pictures…they’re not really affecting me."

(See more on our page The Lies of Sex Addiction)

These may seem like obvious lies, but to the sex addict they can seem true. The addict will even try to persuade others to believe the lies.

There is complete hope for healing from sex addiction and its deception. The road to recovery is through Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit plays a critical role by revealing the truth that sets us free from the lies. He shows us the way to return to God and walk in righteousness. Even at the height of our delusion, the Holy Spirit can be tugging at our heart, beckoning us back to the truth. If we heed his voice and respond in faith, God will help us walk to freedom. (See our study Freedom Journey for help in doing this)

If you know a sex addict, please be encouraged that your prayers of faith will be effective. Prayer can make a tremendous impact on an addict’s walk to freedom. As James 5:15 says, "The prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven" (NIV). The Holy Spirit can work powerfully through the prayers of a spouse, friend or loved one. The Spirit intercedes for us and completes our prayers in accordance with God’s will (Romans 8:26-27). God wills for all sex addicts to be set free from the slavery of sin (1 Timothy 2:3-4).  Even when the outward circumstances seem hopeless, God can find a way to redeem the deceived, heal wounds and restore what was lost.

"Pornography and the Church"

by Wesley King

After presenting a paper on pornography and Christian men, the floor was opened to questions from the class. One of the first questions came from a middle-aged man who bluntly asked me, "What’s wrong with pornography?" The amazing thing is that my paper just presented, in a very basic form, all the horrible and sinful things pornography and addiction can do to a man and to those with whom he is associated. I wanted to respond, "Did you even listen to me?" However, I knew I didn’t have a Christian audience, so even if they did listen they might just disagree with the evidence. Instead of responding in sarcasm, I reminded him that this paper dealt with Christian men whose beliefs condemn lustful thoughts and behaviors. Admittedly, others in the class did ask more intelligent and penetrating questions, which I was glad to answer. Unfortunately, I did not have a lot of time for questions and answers, but at least I had an opportunity to present my viewpoint.

As ludicrous as that man’s question was, the most disturbing fact is this is an opinion that is held by many Christian men as well. You can excuse the non-Christian because they have not accepted God or His Word, and do not have the Holy Spirit living within them. But for Christian men to accept that viewpoint indicates a horrible lack of discipleship on the church’s part. Don’t get me wrong, individuals need to be obedient to God and study the Scriptures for themselves. By doing so, it will become clear to them that such a flippant attitude toward a sinful practice does not square with the commands of God. However, the church is commanded to disciple new converts and to train them in the Word.

Evidence for this is clearly found in 2 Timothy 2:2 which says, "And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others."

It is by this process that orthodoxy may be maintained through the faithful passing on true doctrine from generation to generation. Obviously, the church has failed to maintain proper discipleship when it comes to many sexual issues, not the least of which is pornography.


Submitted by: Lannie Self of Restoration Fellowship

Written by: G.D. Watson

Another remedy against backsliding is self-denial. This is the very essence of all spiritual victory. Just as self-indulgence grows on us in a thousand imperceptible ways, so self-denial should encircle our entire lives.

If the examples of all the saints in the Scriptures and in the history of the Church are worth anything, we see that they reached their highest degree of spiritual strength through fasting, abstinence and self-denial in the bodily appetites, in mental pleasures, in social ease, and of all worldly gratifications.

One writer has inquired, "Whoever saw a real fat, over-fed person noted for deep spirituality?" Tens of thousands of Christians are constantly eating too much, talking too much, gratifying their whims, their pleasures, in such measure as to grieve the Holy Ghost, and lay foundations of much secret sin, if not terrible outward falls.

Luxurious ease and self-indulgence are a way of life for thousands of American Christians. In this age, it is sadly rare to find true, heroic self-denial. St. Peter tells us that we are to "arm ourselves with the principle of self-denial." This principle of self-denial is to extend to the use of our senses, guarding our eyes, our words, our manners, our social behaviors--anything that would give the body or the intellect power over the interior spirit.

If we look upon self-denial as a hard, irksome thing, over which our nature whimpers and whines, it shows we have not yet entered the real crucifixion of self. When we pass certain points in grace, self-denial will have a secret joy and heavenly sweetness attending it that far exceeds in peace and joy all the overindulgence of nature.

Remember: When we break down on self-denial, we drift in our spiritual life.


"He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, to love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8

Jokes from

*The Burglar*

This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote Scripture. So she holds up a hand and says: "ACTS 2:38!!!"

The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: "How did you do this?"

The woman replied, "I quoted Scripture."

The cop turned to the burglar: "What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?"

The burglar replied: "Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an ax and two 38's."

*The Painter*

Julie was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy-woman.

The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?"

"Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.

"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.

"Is 50 bucks all right?" Julie asked.

"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the

The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening.

"Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.

"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.

About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.

"You painted the whole porch?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two

The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.

"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."




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Revised: June 10, 2003.