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May there be the woman at home with husband and
children. May there be born to the worshiper heroic youths with the
will to victory, the best of chariot-fighters, fit to shine in
assemblies.
Yajur Veda 22.22. HV, P. 161

Monday
LESSON 127
Women's Liberation
Anbe Sivamayam Satyame Parasivam! "God Siva is
Immanent Love and Transcendent Reality!" This morning we are going to
talk about a vast subject, one that is important to every Hindu family:
stri dharma, the dharma of the Hindu wife and mother. In Sanskrit stri means "woman." Dharma is a rich word which encompasses many meanings: the path to God Siva, piety, goodness, duty, obligation and more. Stri dharma is the woman's natural path, while purusha dharma, we can say, is the man's.
There
is much controversy about the role of the woman in society these days.
In the West, a strong women's liberation movement has been at work for
many years, and now there has arisen an equally vigorous opposition
which defends traditional values. The struggle for women's liberation
has affected women the world over -- in India, Iran, Europe, Japan and
elsewhere. In North America, I began a campaign informally called the
Hindu Women's Liberation Movement. It is not what you might expect. Its
purpose is to liberate our Hindu women from the liberators, to save
them from worldliness and to allow them to fulfill their natural dharma as mother and wife.
For
a religious woman, being liberated starts with resigning from her job
and coming home. Once she is home, she is liberated and liberated and
liberated. Working in the world keeps her in the outer dimensions of
consciousness, while being at home allows her to live in the depth of
her being. I have seen this work many times. There are so many
distractions and influences in the world today that divert women away
from being a wife and mother. In the West a woman is a wife first and a
mother second, but in the East her traditional duties as a mother are
foremost. She is trained from early childhood in the arts of
homemaking, trained by her mother who was trained in exactly the same
way by her mother, and so on right down through history. It's an old
pattern.
The Hindu woman is looked upon as most precious. Two
thousand years ago Saint Tiruvalluvar observed: "What does a man lack
if his wife is worthy? And what does he possess if she is lacking
worth?" (Tirukural 53) There is more respect in the East for
women and for their role in society. Here in the West, the woman is not
fully appreciated. Her contribution is underrated and misunderstood. In
fact, this is one of the reasons she seeks fulfillment and recognition
in other spheres, because Western society has become oblivious of her
unique and vital role. Abused by neglect and disregard, she seeks other
avenues where she may be appreciated, recognized and rewarded.
Tuesday
LESSON 128
Masculine And Feminine
Don't forget that in the East the ties of the
extended family are traditionally very close. Women live in a
community, surrounded by younger and older women, often living in the
same house. They enjoy a rewarding life which includes helping the
younger ones and being helped by those who are more mature. Several
generations work together in sharing the joys as well as the burdens of
household culture. It is different in the West. Women here usually do
not have the advantages of close association with other family members.
Naturally, they become a little lonely, especially if they do not have
a religious community of friends. They get lonely and want to get out
in the world and enjoy life a little. This is another reason women
leave the home. It is very unfortunate.
In the East there is a
better balance of the masculine and feminine forces. In the West the
masculine is too strong, too dominant. The feminine energies need to be
allowed greater expression. But that does not mean women should start
doing what men do. No. That only confuses the forces more. A better
balance must be found. In Asia the woman is protected. She is like a
precious gem. You don't leave it unattended. You protect it, you guard
it well because you don't wish to lose it. Hindu women are guarded
well. They are not allowed to become worldly. They are not exposed to
the looks and thoughts of a base public, nor must they surrender their
modesty to contend in the tough world of business affairs. She can be
perfectly feminine, expressing her natural qualities of gentleness,
intuitiveness, love and modesty. The home and family are the entire
focus of a Hindu woman's life.
Many of you here this morning
are too young to know that this was also the prevalent pattern in
America up to World War II, which started in 1939. Before World War II,
Western women were very much reserved in public appearances and were
nearly always chaperoned. It was that war that broke down the ancient
roles of men and women. The men were taken away from industry by the
army, and women were forced out of the home into the factories and
businesses so that production could continue. Earlier they had been
protected, seldom seen unaccompanied in public. Throughout history,
women had been the caretakers of the home and the defenders of virtue.
They valued their purity, their chastity, and were virgins when they
married. Many people don't know that the old values were upheld quite
strictly until 1940 or so. Then the Second World War broke up the
family and disturbed the balance between men and women. For the first
time, women were seen alone in public. For the first time, they left
the home and competed with men for their jobs.
Wednesday
LESSON 129
Society in Transition
I speak often of the change humanity is going
through in moving out of the agricultural era and into the
technological age. This change has affected the dharma of the woman and the dharma of
the man in an interesting way. During the tens of thousands of years of
the agricultural age, families lived and labored mostly on farms or in
craft guilds. The entire family worked on the farm. The men all worked
in the fields; the women and children mostly worked in the home.
Children were a great asset. More children meant more help, a bigger
farm, more wealth. There were many chores that a young boy or girl
could do. When harvest time came, everyone joined in. It was a one
team, and everyone contributed. When the crop was sold, that was the
income for a combined effort from all members -- men, women and even
children. In a very real sense, everyone was earning the money,
everyone was economically important.
With the onset of the
technological era, only the man of the house earns the family income.
Everyone else spends it. The husband goes to work in a factory or large
company office while his wife and children stay at home. There is not
much they can do to help him during the day with his work. His work and
his wife's are not as closely related as in the old days. He is the
provider, the producer now; she and the children are consumers. Because
the children cannot help much, they have become more of an economic
liability than an asset. This, coupled with the population problems on
the Earth, devalues the economic importance of the woman's traditional
role as wife and mother. Whereas raising children and taking care of
the farmhouse used to be a woman's direct and vital contribution toward
the family's livelihood and even the survival of the human race, today
it is not. Whereas they used to be partners in a family farm business,
today he does all the earning and she feels like a dependent. The
answer is not to have women join their men in the factories and
corporations. The answer is to bring traditional religious values into
the technological era, to find a new balance of karma that allows for the fulfillment of both the man's and the woman's dharma.
When
young couples marry, I help them write down their vows to one another.
He must promise to support her, to protect her, to give her a full and
rewarding life. She must promise to care for him, to manage the home,
to maintain the home shrine and to raise fine children. I ask them each
to respect the other's realm, to never mentally criticize the other and
to make religion the central focus of their life together. I ask the
young bride to stay at home, to be a little shy of involvement in the
world. I instruct the young husband to provide for her, throughout her
life, all that she needs and all that she wants.
Thursday
LESSON 130
Working in The World
A mother's place is within the home and not out in
the world working. When she is in the home all day, she brings love and
security to the children, sensitivity and stability to the husband. By
raising her children, she changes the course of history. How does she
do that? She raises strong children, good and intelligent children.
They will grow up to be the great men and women in the community, the
leaders of the nation. They will be the worthy farmers, artists,
businessmen, the teachers, the doctors, the lawyers, the architects,
the presidents and, most importantly, the spiritual leaders. They will
be the good mothers, the homemakers and child-raisers, scientists and
inventors, pioneers and poets, artists and sculptors and creators in
all dimensions of life. It is such men and women who change the course
of human history. This is the great power held by the mother and by no
one else: to properly mold the mind and character of her children. And
she trains her daughters to do the same by example and gentle guidance.
Of course, she also holds the opposite power, expressed through
neglect, to allow her children to grow up on their own, on the streets
where they will learn a base life. Such children will as surely change
society and human history, but negatively. They will be the common men
and women, or fall into mental and emotional abysses, there to express
the instinctive nature and become the exemplars of violence and lust,
of dependence and crime. The very direction of mankind is right there
in the early years, to be turned toward a great potential through love
and attentiveness or allowed to decay through neglect. The mother is
the child's first guru, and she alone can shape the mind in
those impressionable years. So, you can all see the truth in the old
saying: "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."
Take
the case of a mother who is at home every day, morning and night,
attending to her children. As she rocks the cradle, her love and energy
radiate out to the infant, who then feels a natural peacefulness and
security. She has time for the child, time to sing sweet lullabies and
console when the tears come, time to teach about people, about the
world, about the little things in growing up, time to cuddle for no
reason except to express her love. On the other hand, the working
mother has no time to do extra things. When the infant cries, she may,
out of her own frustrations of the day, become impatient and scold him,
demanding that he keep quiet. "I told you to be quiet!" she shouts. The
infant doesn't even understand the language yet. You can imagine this
helpless child's feelings as he receives an emotional blast of anger
and frustration directed toward his gentle form. Where is he to turn?
He cannot find refuge even in his mother's arms.
What will the
next generation be like if all the children are raised under such
circumstances? Will it be strong and self-assured? Will it radiate
kindness to others, never having had kindness given to it? Will it be
patient and understanding? No. It is a proven fact that most prison
inmates were seriously neglected or beaten as children. It is also a
proven fact that nearly all parents who mistreat their children were
themselves mistreated by their parents. Unless mothers care for and
love their children, society will inherit an entire generation of
frustrated adults who were once frustrated children. These will later
be the people who rule the world. Then what happens? They in turn raise
their children in the same manner, for that is the only example of
parenthood they have. They will think that neglect is natural, that
children can get along on their own from an early age or be raised by a
governess or nurse or at a day-care center. It's a circle: a childhood
of neglect produces a bitter adult life; a childhood of love and trust
produces a loving and happy adult life.
Friday
LESSON 131
The Psychic Force Field
We learn so many important things from the mother.
This learning is not just from the things she explains to us, but from
the way she lives her life. If she is patient, we learn patience. If
she is angry and unhappy, then we learn to be angry and unhappy. How
wonderful it is for a mother to be in the home and give her children
the great gifts of life by her example. She can teach them so many
things, bring them into profound understandings about the world around
them and offer them basic values and points of view that will sustain
them throughout their life. Her gift of love is directly to the child,
but indirectly it is a gift to all of humanity, isn't it? A child does
not learn much from the father until he is older, perhaps eight or
nine, or ten years of age.
We have a book in our library which
describes a plan made by the Christians to destroy Hinduism in Sri
Lanka and India. One of their major tactics is to get the Hindu women
out of their homes and working in the world. They knew that the
spiritual force within the home is created by the unworldly woman. They
knew that a secure woman makes for a secure home and family, a secure
husband and a secure religion. They knew that the Hindu woman is the
key to the perpetuation of Hinduism, as long as she is in the home. If
the woman is in the home, if she is happy and content and the children
are nurtured and raised properly, then the astral beings around the
home will be devonic, friendly and beneficial. But if she is
out of the home and the husband is out of the home, the protective
force-field around the home disintegrates, allowing all kinds of astral
asuric beings to enter. Such a neglected home becomes inhabited by base, asuric beings
on the lower astral plane. You cannot see these beings, but they are
there, and you can sense their presence. Things just don't feel right
in a home inhabited by negative forces. You have the desire to leave
such a home as soon as you enter it. The children absorb these
vibrations, these feelings. Children are open and psychically sensitive
to such influences, with little means of self-protection. They will
become disturbed, and no one will know the reason why. They will be
crying and even screaming. They will be constantly disobedient. Why
should they become disobedient? Because there is no positive,
protective force field of religion established and upheld by the
mother. This leaves the inner force field vulnerable to negative and
confusing forces of all kinds, especially in modern, overpopulated
cities where destructive psychic influences are so strong. These
negative vibrations are penetrating the inner atmosphere of the home,
and the children are psychic enough to pick them up and suffer.
Saturday
LESSON 132
People Caring For People
Religion begins in the home under the mother's
influence and instruction. The mother goes to the temple to get strong.
That is the reason Hindus live near a temple. They go to the temple to
draw strength from the shakti of the Deity, and they return to
the home where they maintain a similar vibration in which to raise the
next generation to be staunch and wonderfully productive citizens of
the world, to bring peace on Earth, to keep peace on Earth. There is an
ancient South Indian proverb which says one should not live in a city
which has no temple.
If a child is screaming in its cradle,
and the babysitter is yelling at him and couldn't care less about his
feelings, and the mother is out working, that child is not a candidate
for keeping peace on Earth. That child is going to keep things
confused, as they are today. So, it's all in the hands of the mother;
it's not in the hands of the father. Religion and the future of society
lie solely in the hands of the mother. It is in the hands of the father
to allow or not to allow the mother to be under another man's mind out
in the world.
Just as World War II took women out of the home,
so did another change affect mankind. When the automobile came along,
people forgot about breeding, because it replaced the horse, which they
cared for and learned to mate with other horses to strengthen the
genetics. The automobile did one terrible thing: it made people forget
how to breed and how to take care of one another. When people kept
horses, horses were a part of the family. People had to care for their
horses, and in the process learned to care for one another. People also
had to breed their horses, and in that process learned about the value
of intelligent breeding. In those days you often heard of the
"well-bred" person. You don't hear of the well-bred person anymore.
Although among biologists there is much talk about heredity, ordinary
people no longer consider that humans, too, are involved in the natural
process of breeding. They have become forgetful of these important
laws, and this has led to lack of forethought and discipline, to bodies
indiscriminately procreating more bodies. Who is living in them nobody
quite knows, and too many simply don't care. That's what we as a
society forgot when the automobile replaced the horse. When you had a
horse, you had to feed and water it. You had to train it, you had to
harness it, curry it, stable it and breed it. In breeding, you had to
choose a stud for your mare or find a suitable mare for your stallion.
The qualities of both the sire and the dam were closely observed, and
the resultant combination of genetics was consciously planned. It was
therefore natural for people in those days to seek proper mates for
their children, and the results were the vital, creative and
industrious children of the children. As a civilization, we are slowly
forgetting such basic things, being more and more careless about our
children's future, about their lives and their mates.
Sunday
LESSON 133
The Impact Of Television
Television has not helped society to raise its
children. In fact, it has virtually stopped the proper education of the
child in those communities where it is watched for hours each day.
Instead of developing an active curiosity by adventuring for hours
through a forest or climbing a tree, instead of discovering the wonders
of nature and art, music, literature and conversation, instead of
becoming involved in sports and hobbies, children are mentally carried
along by television stories through positive and negative states of
mind. They become uncreative, passive, inactive, never learning to use
their own minds. Admittedly, not all television is negative. Some of it
can be quite educational; but hours and hours each day of passive
absorption is not good for a child's mental and emotional development.
Children need to be active, to involve themselves in a wide variety of
experiences.
If the mother is there, she can intelligently
guide their television, being careful that they do not get in the habit
of watching it for hours on end, and watching that bold sex, casual and
brute violence, raw language and other bad influences are not a daily
experience. When the program is over, she can send them out to play.
Or, better still, she can take a few minutes to explain how what they
just saw on TV relates, or often does not relate, to real life. Of
course, if she is gone, they will watch anything and everything. For
the young, television is one of the most senseless pastimes there is,
carrying the mind further and further away from the true Self.
I think you will all agree that our values, the values found in the holy Vedas, Tirukural and
other sacred scriptures, are rarely found on television. Instead, TV,
at this time in our history, gives our children a brutal, romantic and
unbalanced view of life which distorts in their minds how life really
is. These are very serious issues. It is the mother who protects her
children from negative influences, guiding their young minds into
positive channels of expression.
Take the case of a farmer who
raises livestock, who milks cows and goats. He works hard. He gets up
early and takes care of his animals. He cannot succeed if he is also
working part-time in the grocery store downtown. Those animals need
attention. There is no sensible man who would run a farm, with cows and
goats and chickens, and not be there to take care of them, because
those animals need a lot of help. He stays there and takes care of his
business. He is a farmer and that is his duty, and he knows it.
Well,
what's more important than the child? He needs twenty-four-hour-a-day
care. He is learning to walk, to speak, to learn, to think. He falls
down and needs consoling. He catches the flu and needs to be nursed
back to health. It is the mother's duty to provide that care. No one
else is going to do it for her. No one else can do it for her. She brought that soul into a physical body, and she must prepare that child for a positive and rewarding life.
If the farmer neglects his animals, he creates a serious karma. The animals suffer. The farm suffers. The community suffers when the farm fails, and the man himself suffers. There is a grave karma, too, for the woman who neglects her stri dharma, who
goes out into the world and does not nurture the physical, emotional,
intellectual and spiritual needs of her children. She knows this within
herself, but she may be influenced by ill-advised people, or by a mass
movement that tells her that she has only one life to live and that she
cannot find fulfillment in the home, but must express herself, venture
out, seek her own path, her own fortune. You have all heard these
ideas. I tell you that they are wrong. They spell the disillusionment
of the mother who heeds them, then the disintegration of the family
that is sacrificed by her absence. Finally, they result in her own
unhappiness as she despairs at the loss suffered by her family and
herself.
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