The Commonest Obstacles to the Forgiveness Processes - especially the Self-Forgiveness Process

There are four subpersonalities (the gang of four!) which if overdeveloped and unbalanced by their opposites in a person's psyche can cause difficulty. These are:-

The Inner Critic,

Inner Saboteur,

Inner Victim,

Inner Depressor

Each is an expression of a time of an unmet need, usually in childhood - for love and approval, for security, for love and empowerment, for upliftment and encouragement respectively. Sometimes, but less often, the Inner Distracter or Clown, and the Addict can also interfere.

The longer forgiveness processes as set out can usually take care of these obstacles, and help to heal them. You gradually climb above the limited perspectives of these subpersonalities, to the transpersonal level of your being. If you get stuck, go back to the values statement at the beginning, and you will access your higher will, enabling you to go on.

Approving of yourself for doing this work will start the flow of love and appreciation, as an antidote for excessive self-denigration. Realising that you cannot grow without taking some risks will help to counteract the sabotaging inner voices.

Seeing how much you are suffering and recognising that you don't want to go on doing that any more is important in setting aside the tendency to feel victimised or "poor me".

If you have difficulties that are not covered here, you may need to find someone who is skilled in guiding this process - but you will be surprised (a) how often you can solve the obstacle yourself with time and (b) how often people with little professional training can nevertheless guide this process once they have seen it done once or twice.

We need to become aware of and learn how to use all the 'levels' of our consciousness, - our personality. Our personality has many diverse parts: at one level the "subpersonalities" as they are called in psychosynthesis (these are like the players in an orchestra, or the actors in a play.

At the next level, there is our centre of conscious choice and will, the personal self. It is the agent of the Higher Self on earth (like the conductor of the orchestra or the director of the players).

Above all, we are to be in tune or contact with our Higher Self (which could be regarded as like the composer or author). It is the source within us of all the higher qualities, that are waiting to find expression in our everyday lives. The composer, conductor and players are partners , needing each other to express the music. The author, director and actors are partners , needing each other to create the drama.

The Higher Self and the parts of the personality are partners , and need each other to create our best life's work. The capacity to forgive, i.e. to cancel the conditions that are blocking the flow of love, now exists within you at this stage in the evolution of mankind, and it is one of the capacities we are to develop further.

When we love ourselves, others, and the Source of Life totally, independently of the behaviour of others and outer circumstances, we fulfil a Natural Law known about and taught by the great sages and teachers of the past. We bring heaven to earth. We experience grace. Whenever we experience tension, stress/distress, dis-ease, unhappy relationships etc., it is a signal that we are not living in accordance with that law. It is a signal that we need to check our mind-processing, and practise forgiveness, to cancel whatever is causing the blocked love.

Just as it was necessary for man to master the laws of aerodynamics to extend beyond the limitations imposed by the laws of gravity, so it is necessary to master the laws of the mental and spiritual realms to extend beyond the limitations imposed by the laws of the physical and emotional realms.

It is essential to use the will to 'lift' to the mental and spiritual levels, rather than to continue to be "willed by" our reactions to our physical or emotional states, valid and to be honoured as these may be. This is true 'strength' of will, and becomes 'good' will, or 'will-to-good'.

For more information about subpersonalities, look in Further Resources for books on psychosynthesis, especially

"What We May Be", by Pierro Ferrucci, "You're in Charge!" (A guide to becoming your own therapist) by Jeanette Rainwater, "Psychosynthesis" by Assagioli, "Psychosynthesis in Counselling" by Diana Whitmore,


If you find this forgiveness process useful, please consider expressing your gratitude by sending an anonymous donation or letter of gratitude to any person or organisation that is working to create right human relationships.

Please send any suggestions for improvements to:-

Whole Life Endeavours

Dr. G.A.Pettitt, 81, Cambria St.,

Nelson, New Zealand.

Ph: +64-3-548 44 00, Fax: +64-3-548-1241, e-mail:

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