NEW: An improved Forgiveness Process Website for you to go to


This site was created about ten years ago, and many people have written to me asking for more information and assistance than was possible to give on this site then. Further, this site was created with the now-outdated software, PageMill 2.0, and - my web-design skills are limited, making it difficult for me to improve the situation.

HOWEVER, the good news is, that a wonderful person called Henry Kadoch, found value in the Forgiveness Process material offered here. He decided to create his own beautiful web site, which is dedicated to providing resources on the themes of Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, Spiritual Psychology, and Goodwill, etc., from many traditions.

He kindly offered me space for this Forgiveness Process material, and in addition, for my more detailed E-book, "The Heart of Healing", my Forgiveness workshop manual, several articles about forgiveness, and a booklet about the Goodwill Patterns based upon Aramaic Psychology.

These are all now FREELY DOWNLOADABLE from his web site .

[PS: If clicking on any of the following links should fail (due to my out-of-date software) - please just copy and paste the URL into you web browser to go there].

You will find Henry's beautiful site at:

The sitemap URL is:


You will find all the material that is on this site (i.e. where you now are), freely available to you from this URL/page of Henry's site:


In addition, you will find my e-book, "The Heart of Healing" freely downloadable as three-manuals starting from this URL/page of Henry's site:

This e-book resource offers much more in the way of detailed explanations, and also gives examples to make learning and applying the forgiveness process material easier for you.


Most of the questions and difficulties that people have come up with, have been addressed somewhere in the material now available on Henry's web site. However, remember thatyour willingness and persistence to do your personal work thoroughly will always be essential ingredients to your success. Reading the material is the first essential step, but going through it experientially to make it your own is the second. Think of learning to practise fogiveness as being similar to learning how to drive safely. It is a health maintenance activity. You will find that you can quite quickly get more skilled, and it gets easier over time.


You will also find several articles about forgiveness and health, and a booklet on Goodwill by searching around the forgiveness area of Henry's site.

Also, there are someother people's approaches to forgiveness (and much more), so you can select what works best for you.


You will find that Henry has gathered together many wonderful resources about several related topics, and I recommend that you explore his web site extensively over time.

I feel sure that you will find something to interest you there, plus some useful resources you can apply on your journey through life. Again, here are the links given above:

Henry's "iloveulove" site, entry and sitemap:

Forgiveness Process (bare bones):

E-book "The Heart of Healing" (more detail):


Or, you can continue with this site - and read on:


To disseminate information about a step by step Process of Forgiveness of Others and Self. It is experimental. I am trying to find out if people who do not live close to trained forgiveness teachers and guides can learn this process without having to visit a therapist trained in this method or attend a forgiveness seminar.

Going through the process, or taking others through the process, has been a profound and worthwhile experience for me and for many others. The question arises - can people derive the benefits of this process without anyone physically present to guide them through it?

The Forgiveness Processes offered here builds on the pioneering work of Dr Edith Stauffer PhD, author of the book "Unconditional Love and Forgiveness" (1987), whom I first met in 1980, and I want to pay tribute to her here. She has been a most important teacher for me in my own life. Her pioneering work in the area of forgiveness deserves much greater recognition, and I am ever-grateful I came upon it. The material posted here includes some additional steps or modifications which I have found valuable in my medical and psychospiritual counselling practise in New Zealand conditions. These steps were developed to find ways around some of the obstacles which people sometimes encountered using the earlier versions of the process - some of the steps were suggested by patients, students, or clients of mine.

This website also includes ideas derived from others, notably Dr. Roberto Assagioli, who founded psychosynthesis, Dan MacDougald, who brought to Edith Stauffer's attention the Aramaic Code of Conduct (the Patterns of Goodwill, Good Attitudes, or Beatitudes), Pierro Ferrucci, Michal Eastcott, Dr. Robert Leichtmann, Carl Japikse, Dr. Scott Peck,Torkom Saraydarian, Walter Polt, Vivian King, Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, Dr. Milton Erickson, Virginia Satir. I would like to say how grateful I am to all of these people who have been my teachers through their writings or in person.

Different cultures and circumstances may require modification to the wording, (indeed one of my patients carried out the process using drawings which symbolised the steps to her) but I believe that the principles of the process are fully known to us now and are all included here. I think you will find all of the pieces of the forgiveness jig-saw puzzle here.

A person going carefully through each of the steps outlined here stands to gain several benefits. In addition to the benefits of forgiveness, such as relief from the toxic effects of unhealed emotional pain, resentment, grudge, etc., they can experience many of the principles of Psychosynthesis training, namely:

A. Progressive ability to observe themselves and others more compassionately, and to make wiser, and more conscious choices with respect to any unsatisfying emotional patterns, belief systems, and subpersonality patterns.

B. Progressive ability to know and communicate their own needs in a wiser manner, and to train their Will in wiser and more skilfull ways.

C. Progressive ability to make better contact with, and increasingly to identify with, their Higher Self, which is that part of us which is the Source of love, strength, wisdom and creativity within each of us. With this comes the increasing ability to love unconditionally both self and others.

D. Progressive ability to understand and balance the energies of both love and will, and of the feminine and masculine sides of their natures, within themselves, and then to use both of these primary life energies with greater skill, to become both nurturing and strong at the same time.

E. An increased sense of wholeness, and very often, deep healing. This healing may include improvements in physical functioning of the body, healing of the emotions, healing of the mind and its belief-systems, and healing in relationships.

F. I have also noticed that as a person completes their whole forgiveness agenda, they often spontaneously find (or recover) their sense of Life Purpose and ability to give of their talents to the community in which they live, to become "for-giving" in a new and deeper sense. People who have completed their forgiveness agenda, in my observation, have become more able to have satisfying relationships and to be active in society in a way that is nurturing of themselves and the planet as a whole.

I offer this process to the wider community via the Internet with the intention of helping more people to self-heal their pain and then move on in life with increased skills in the area of Unconditional Love, Conscious Loving Relationship and Communication, free from the unconscious patterns caused by the memory traces of past hurts.

DISCLAIMER: Please note that the information on this website does not make any claims. It is respectfully offered to you to explore, in the hope and with the intention that exploring this material will be educational and helpful to you. It makes no claims to be a treatment for any particular illness, mental, emotional, psychological or physical, and readers should always consult their physicians or other appropriate health advisers if necessary. If any aspect of the material appears culturally insensitive to any person or group, that is not intended and I would ask to be informed how to remedy any instances of that as soon as possible.

ACKNLOWLEDGEMENTS: As far as possible, the sources from which I have learned or quoted have been acknlowledged in the text. My sources are also listed in the References and Further Resources list so you can search out the full writings of the various authors for yourself. If you download any of the text, as I imagine you may well need to in order to use it, and later use any of the material ascribed to these authors with others, please give acknowledgement of the source so people can always purchase the original books if they want to go deeper. I hope this will disseminate the contributions of these wonderful people more widely.

[Keywords for search engines: Forgiveness, Unconditional Love, Psychosynthesis, Healing, Personal Growth, Medicine, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Spirituality, Religion, New Age, Meditation, Goodwill, Right Human Relationships]

I wish you well with this programme. If you do all the exercises in it it will take you time and effort, and the rewards could be great.

If you find this forgiveness process useful, and you feel motivated to do so, please consider expressing your gratitude by sending an anonymous donation or letter of gratitude to any person or organisation that is working to create right human relationships.

Please let your suggestions for how it could be improved and made more useful to you be known (the address is below).


To proceed using this web site, open this link: Forgiveness Programme - Contents

Whole Life Endeavours

For the study of Integrative Medicine, Life Energy Analysis, 
Applied Psychophysiology, Transpersonal and Esoteric Psychology and Healing,  
Psychosynthesis, the Forgiveness Process and Attitudinal Healing 

Dr. Guy A. Pettitt MA, MSE(Psych), MRCP, MRNZCGP

81 Cambria St., Nelson, New Zealand,

Tel: +64-3-548-4400 Fax: +64-3-548-1241 e-mail: