The Purpose of Step Three is to give you another method of making a strong commitment to doing the process, to engage your WILL. You can use this Benefits and Burdens technique to make other choices in your life.


FORGIVER, say or write:

 The BENEFITS of doing this process could be...

1. I could be....



(...... write or speak as many benefits as you can think could come to you from forgiving this person and from you becoming an unconditionally loving person)


The BURDENS of NOT doing this forgiveness process are likely to be...

1. I will most likely ......



(include what you think you will be like in 5, 10, 25 years from now if you go on feeling resentful and bitter about what happened...... write or speak as many burdens as you can think of as could come to you if you stay resentful.... )

Now look at what you have written. You do have a choice about this, do you not?

It is as if you are at a cross-roads, and one road is clearly signed to "Benefits", the other is clearly signed to "Burdens". Which one do you want for yourself?

If, like most people at this stage, you would prefer to have benefits, then you are ready to go on to Step Four - Choice and Decision to Forgive

Link here to return to Forgiveness Programme - Contents