The Purpose of Steps 2- 3 was to maximise your reasons for change. It was to increase the "voltage" or tension in your mind. This gives you the power and ability to replace negative mind-sets and goals with the positive. The Purpose of Step Four is to Affirm your intention and set your goal to forgive and heal yourself firmly in your mind, and the attitude with which you will do this.


FORGIVER speak aloud, or write:

 "I do have a choice. I do have a will.

I have had enough of being uncomfortable.

I am tired of the pain and burden being caused.

I would prefer to get back into the flow of love and life energy, and heal the effects of what has happened

(and/or is still happening).

I choose and will to no longer harm (or punish) myself, or diminish my joy, physically, emotionally, mentally, or by holding back my own growth as a human being, for what .......(name the one being forgiven) ...... has done (or is doing).

I choose and will to heal the memory of what happened,

(and/or alter my response to what is happening).

THEREFORE, my goal for today is to COMFORTABLY, COMPASSIONATELY, COMPLETELY and JOYFULLY forgive:- ......................... (here you name the person, object or organisation you are forgiving).

As for each step in this process, be alert to how your body feels as you speak or write the phrases.

In this step you are acknowledging that you are in charge. You are taking back control over your life. You are acknowledging the pain and harm that has happened while at the same time deciding that that pain and harm will no longer continue.

You are also setting in your mind not only the intention to forgive, but also the manner in which you will do the process. You are choosing to do it "comfortably, compassionately, completely and joyfully" rather than "uncomfortably, miserably, incompletely, and seething with resentment"! I have found that including this simple set of four words in the intention to forgive makes a huge difference to the ease with which people can gain the benefits of forgiveness process in their lives.

Are you ready for the next step? This will be to honour your hurt feelings fully and precisely.

If so go on to Step Five - Validating your Emotional Reality

Link here to return to Forgiveness Programme - Contents