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V:
To realize this, should I do meditation?
M:
Yes, meditation is very necessary. If you can
do it continuously, it is good, but with a daily
occupation this is not always possible. Meditation
done in the early morning hoursis helpful and
effective. But you may do it whenever you have
leisure. Seekers with a deep urge can meditate
at any time. In the beginning, a seeker should
sit alone in a quiet spot with complete leisure
at his disposal. When he attains stability in
meditation, he can sit anywhere, anytime. Suppose
such an advanced seeker sits here in meditation.
He will be totally lost within himself. His attention
will be focused on attention only, with the result
that he will not be aware of what is going on
around him. Further, in such a state nothing will
occur to him. Meditation should be of this quality.
Suppose somebody is deeply worried, would he take
note of things going around him?
When
you sit in deep meditation, your sense of being
is totally infused with the knowledge "I am" only.
In such a state it will be revealed to you intuitively
as to how and why your sense of "I-am-ness" emerged.
V:
By the "I-am-ness"?
M:
Consciousness, beingness, sense of being, "I-am-ness,"
all are the same in you, prior to emanation of
any words.
This
is a subtle point, so try to understand it clearly.
When I say "I was not" prior to conception, then
what I actually mean is that I was not like this
present "I am." But that "I" which could discern
this must be there to judge the absence of the
present "I am."
Owing
to the absence of a body, that "I" prior to conception
had no sense of being or sense of "I-am-ness."
With the arrival of a body the sense of "I-am-ness"
is imposed on the prior "I."
In
meditation, this sense of "I-am-ness" only will
indicate how and why it came about. You must be
possessed by this idea of finding out what this
"I-am-ness" is, just as you would not rest until
you found the source of a smell emanating from
some place. For example, if a foul smell emanates
you will have to go to that source; and when you
discover that it is the decomposed body of a rat,
you will have to dispose of that body in order
to get rid of the stink. Similarly, if a nice
fragrance wafts in your direction, you would like
to locate the flower. You must go to the source
of this "I-am-ness" fragrance, and find out its
"how and why."
V: How does one chase that?
M: The principle that gives rise to this
"I-am-ness" fragrance is termed Bhagavan-vasudeva
— the god who gives fragrance. The one who
receives this fragrance wants to retain it at
all costs.
V: How can one enter that state?
M: You, from the body-mind level, are
incapable of tracking it down. But that principle
alone will discover itself. Somebody you may call
Bhagavan, or Vittal or God, is so infatuated with
this fragrance that he wants to perpetuate it.
V: One day my efforts will bear fruit
and I shall find him out automatically.
M: His significance for you will be nullified
the moment he is discovered, and you will be liberated
from that infatuation with vasudeva.
V: In other words, I think when you always
feel it so, you don't go after it. Once you realize
the self then it automatically comes to you, so
there is no need for you to track it down. So
once we realize it, we can use it the way we want.
M: In that state you will be beyond any
needs and wants; you will have no use for anything.
No desires will be left, because they are all
fulfilled.
V: I did not mean that I should use it
for my worldly needs. What I meant was that I
would become one with it.
M:
In actuality you were never detached from it.
So where is the question of being one with it?
V:
It is nice that I never got detached from it,
but in my present state I consider myself only
the body.
M:
This is your concept, that you are the body, and
it is deluding you.
V:
Then I will be free.
M:
[Reciting a couplet of Guru Nanak:]
0
mind, what are you searching? Inside and outside
it is one only. It is the concept that makes
you feel inside and outside. Once the earthen
pot bearing the name Nanak is broken, by getting
rid of the concept that I am the body, where
is inside and outside? It is "I" only prevailing
everywhere.
Nanak
furthers says:
Like
the fragrance in a flower, like an image in
a mirror, this sense of "I-am-ness" is felt
in the body. Therefore, give up your name Nanak
and also your identity with the body.
Abide
in the sense of "I-am-ness" and you shall be liberated.
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